Seva Passsport
- Laksmi Keyes
During the 2007 Europe tour, while in Toulon, France, I discovered
that my passport and my wallet were missing again. ( This is the
second time I am losing my passport!)
“
OH NO!!!”
The day before Amma had just been proudly talking about how much
seva ( selfless-service) I was doing and now I was about to get
bumped off the tour again. How could she let this happen-AGAIN?
I thought
that
must
have been why she was so sweet with me.
Again I went into, Why
couldn't she give me the thought of where it was or how to
protect it.
Through my tears, I stormed up to Amma who was giving darshan and
the hall was very, very crowded. I squezzed myslelt into a tiny
space to stand right next to her.
I said, "Amma, I lost my passport-Again." I asked her
why this was happening? Had I stolen a lot of passports in my last
life or something? She said, "No, you need to be more careful.
Many thefts happen at all the stops we go to." Then she asked
if I had even found a passport I had lost before. I said NO. She
told me to tie it around my neck. I quipped back, "Amma,
I don't have it to tie around my neck." I was crying
so much and I was mad at her again. She laughed as she asked me, "Why
are you crying so much about a passport? Why don't you cry
like this for the world?"
The response came quick out of desperation, "Amma, I can't
do anything for the world without a passport!"
I declared my realization for truly the only way I knew I could
serve the world was through being apart of her entourage of volunteers.
Otherwise I knew I would go off-track into ego-land. I explained
to Amma that I had no copy anywhere, no ID,
Amma said, "Don't worry. You have a seva passport!
So getting a passport will be easy."
She said it with such sweet confidence that all my fears disappeared
and I realized then and there that she was really in charge of
everything. I also thought that asking if I have ever found any
passport I had lost must be a hint that my passport was around
so, though I was exhausted form being up all night, I searched
all my luggage countless times. Nothing.
We left for Barcelona and on the way, the other bus got pulled
over for passports and as they were deboarding, our bus drove right
on by.
The next morning in Barcelona, Swamini arranged for me
to get a ride to the US Embassy. Within 45 minutes, with no ID,
no
copy
or proof of anything and without them even asking for anybody to
vouch for me, I was given a temporary Year-long US passport. A
seva-passport. Amma really is in control of everything. Amma really
is the giver of Grace.
I was amazed and realized if I had trusted Amma before, I
probably could have done the same thing and made it to Chile and
Brazil ( the previous time I had lost my passport I had to drop
out of the tour half-way). This seemed to have happened to give
Amma a chance to show me to
trust
in her
next
time.
I ran back to Amma with my new passport. She said, "Oh did
you find it?" I said, "No Amma it is a new one."
"How did you do that so fast?" She asked, seemingly amazed.
"Amma's GRACE!" I answered.
"Please don't EVER let me lose my passport again", I pleaded
sincerely.
She tied it around my neck , tightly, like a loving mother
and told me to keep it on always, and only take it off when I got
to the shower. And even then to pin it inside my clothes.
My Seva
Passport- the only reason for my existence. My passport to being
with Amma. Like a mala, it is my link to Mother. I discovered this
tour that Seva is the honey she loves pouring forth from the rock
of the ego. And she gave me a passport to serve the world honey.
When I was packing up after the tour, and repacking the bins,
what did I find, The passport I couldn't find in Toulon was
buried at the bottom of the bin in the purse I had some
time ago. I remembered then putting it there for safe-keeping.
When I found it, it still had about forty euros in it. I wondered
if the lesson this time was in being more careful, not only with
my valuables but the purse, though not that much, since Amma
said there could be thefts.
It seemed a lesson in shraddha. A lesson in alertness and awareness.
Amma Seva will teach me all I ever need to know and through Seva,
Amma's grace reaches deep into my heart, helping it to grow.
Someday, after all this growth, this heart will burst and be nothing
but honey for all creation, for God.
Because she said so and she
knows, she knows!
- Laksmi Keyes
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