It was the day before Guru Poornima, the full moon day on which the disciple venerates the Guru and it seemed promising that Amma would talk about the relationship between the Guru and the disciple. And sure enough before the morning was out, the listening devotees were delighted to participate in an impromptu informal satsang on how Amma, the Guru, molds her children, her disciples.

Swami Amritaswarupananda, Amma's senior disciple who has been with Amma since the very early days was the center of this discussion. Swamiji had lost his mother at a very early age and the instant he met Amma, he knew that he had come home to his true mother. Amma then told stories about how attached he was to Amma and could not bear to part from her even for an instant, and how playful he was with her in the early years.

As Amma was recounting those memorable days just as a mother would of her son, Swamiji, who is known for his keen sense of humor, jokingly interjected, "Amma, you are compromising my masculinity in front of everyone."

Amma turned to him and answered in a serious tone, "In reality, you are neither masculine nor feminine. You are the Atman (Soul). The Atman is neither male nor female -it is the one and only Indivisible Principle."

"The Atman has no individuality. To strip away the layers of the ego is the Guru's job. All the layers arising from the individual ego such as pride, shame, sorrow etc have to be stripped away to realize the Atman. Then you will become like a river. The river has no individuality. It simply flows."

In the relationship between the Guru and the disciple, the disciple has to be first bound to the Guru in the loving bond of a child with its mother. Only in that loving, trusting bond can the inner nature of the disciple change and grow. This is the first step in the relationship between a Guru and disciple.

Amma continued to recount stories of Swamiji's deep affection and attachment towards Amma. "Once I asked him to go and study in a neighboring town... only 25 km away from Vallikkavu (Amritapuri Ashram today). He could not bear to stay away... he was back within a week, in tears, and handed me a song that he had composed there. It was a song that he had written addressing the sunset and the twilight hour. It was full of pathos... 'O dusk,' it went 'Are you also sad... do you also have a mother like mine...?' Amma laughed.

"All the mischief and tantrums that they should taken out on a biological mother, Swami and his brother (now Swami Pranavamritananda) have together taken out on me." Amma rolled her eyes."Sometimes I would show frustration at their behavior and become completely silent and lock myself up in my room. Then Swami would come and start knocking on the door plaintively and continuously calling "Amme, Amme, Amme..." He would also let me know how many times he had called by keeping a record... so he would say 'Amme, this is the 100th time, Amme, this is the 101st time... and so on. Towards the 150th time his tone would change to a sort of long and mournful cry... Ammmme..." Concerned that he was crying, I would finally open the door... only to see him standing there grinning widely!!"

"Sometimes feigning anger, I would keep my eyes closed and go into meditation... Once Swami told me, "Amma, you can do anything with me, yell at me, rebuke me... but don't ever stop talking to me."

"One time when I looked in through the window in Swami's room, I saw him filling up a paper with writing. He was actually writing 'I surrender to Amma, My life is surrendered to Amma, I surrender to Amma…' over and over again, although I did not see it then. In the spur of the moment, I asked him to help the ashram's meager finances by taking up a job in the Middle East and sending some money for the ashram residents' survival. It was meant as a joke but Swami did not know this. He started up and was very distressed. He started giving excuses, saying that he had come to the ashram to be away from worldly life and why was Amma sending him back to that? Then Amma asked for the paper that he was writing on... Imagine his embarrassment... after all that talk of surrender where was his surrender?"

Then turning to the eagerly listening audience Amma said, "I am constantly testing these Swamis. I just give them pop-quizzes... don’t give them time for any advance preparation...". Amma laughed.

"In a spontaneous situation like this, the students' answers to the teacher's questions come from their own experience. This encourages the students to maintain an attitude of alertness to put forth constant and sincere effort to assimilate the Guru's teaching in daily life. This is called 'Utthishta Jagratha' or 'Rising Awareness,' one of the most essential qualities for a spiritual aspirant."

"Another time, when Swami was doing his Masters in Philosophy, he was learning many different philosophies and at one time he would sit with his eyes closed, just repeating 'Aham Brahmasmi' ('I am Brahman') over and over. I wrote 'Honey' on a piece of paper and sent it to him, along with the instruction - "Son, lick this paper and when you taste the sweetness of honey, come and tell me..." Swami was very confused. "Why is Amma telling me to do this?" he wondered."

"Brahman can be realized only through experience. Any amount of saying 'I am Brahman' will not take you there. You have to experience it just like you can get the experience of sweetness only by tasting the honey, not by licking the writing on the paper!"

In the midst of laughter, Amma was once again conveying succinct messages to her children... lessons on how deep the attachment to the Guru should be, how a disciple must maintain constant awareness and most of all, how available she is to those who really seek her with the innocence of a child. Amma often says that she teaches everyone at her 'school'... and to those that exhibit more interest and attention, she gives some extra tutoring! On this momentous eve of Guru Poornima, let us pray that all of us, her children, receive the Grace of that extra tutoring.